The way I think about it is that WE are the instrument and that hunk of metal is just the amplifier. We need to to be able to tell the horn what to play, not vice versa. The only way to accomplish (I believe) is to be able to buzz what you play. From pedal tones to double tones. It won't happen in one day but if you stay consistent and patient, it will happen eventually. Stick with it, don't get discouraged. There is a "j" in everyone's playing.
That means that you start off on sort of a plateau, then learning new techniques/skills you may drop a little (the curve of the j) but after you learn those skills, you're playing dramatically increases.. Life is one big J. Keep on blowing man.