*SIGH* I'm sorry to say tonight was another bad one. I couldn't stand to listen to myself for ten minutes before putting the horns away. I just don't understand it.
I wasn't using the practice mute and, sure, I was using a different mouthpiece. I even tried a different horn (now that I have more than one), but the problem remains the same. It's the same just using the mouthpiece. That pretty much proves that my lips are the problem.
Something just isn't riight. I can't imagine what I might have done over the last thirty years to create such a situation. It's as if the overlying soft tissue no longer has a firm connection to the underlying musculature, and I have no real control over it. I figured that after a while, it would firm up - something like developing a callus. I don't know if there is anyone in this area who could possibly analyze the situation. Is there such a thing as a musical physiologist? It doesn't matter since I can't afford to pay for one anyway.
One of the things that disturbs me is that none of the other older comeback players here have said they've had the same experience and managed to overcome it. I'd have to conclude that what I'm experiencing is rare, if not entirely unique. It is certainly disheartening.
Well, thanks for letting me vent.