Bittersweet success for a dad!

NickD · 02-04-2007, 05:03 PM

Ok,

I'm am a supporter of the Boy Scouts and the Girl Scouts. My son is working on his Eagle Scout rank right now and my daughter is an 11 year old girl scout. I love walking the "hood" with when she sells cookies. I realize there has been some controversy surrounding some scout troops attitudes, but in our neck of the woods these organizations are totally cool and a wonderful experience for my kids. I wish I had done it, but my childhood was a bit more tempestuous.

Today the boys invited the girls to compete at the Pinewood Derby in Glencoe, where I live. The girls were thrilled to be invited. Well, my daughter and I worked on a car, as expected. She did virtually all of the work, with my guidance and advice (my son had been through this before and I do have a day gig as a high school phsics teacher!). I turned the drill on and off for her and supported it in the vice, but she did all of the work and assembly on the car. She learned about things like potential energy, friction and terminal velocity and Galileo's law of falling boides, etc, in the process. We had fun!

Well, today, she not only won the competition within her troop of girl scouts, her car had the fastest average time of ANY car there! SHE BEAT ALL OF THE BOYS!!! Yeah man! Sweet!!!

The bitter part was that they not only refused to announce it as part of the orverall events, the refused to announce her time (2.518 seconds) when they announced her as the winner of the girl scout troop. They DELIBERATELY refused to do this.

Sure the girls were guests, but it would have been gracious of the cubs to acknowledge her success in spite of her being a guest and a girl. Many of the cubs booed when the girls were announced as winners of the heats. Ok, they're little boys, but the dads should have jumped in there, They didn't! Now, considering the rebuff of not even publicly acknowledging the fact that she actually had the fastest car, I wonder what sort of message they're sending the boys.

Ahh, the fragile male egos! Oh well...

You can bet I'm gonna tell ALL of my peers at the NTHS Science Department about this. My son, is also going to mention it at his troop meeting. He was pretty bummed when he heard of this. He is such a good kid and loving big brother! I'm pretty lcuky to have these two to my name!

Ok, end of rant! I'm pround of my daughter, and I admire the five or so girls who showed and expressed such joy in spite of a lukewarm response from most of the boys. Oh, one final thing; ONE boy, a young boy scout who assisting the officials, came over to Natalia and warmly complimented her on her design and was the first to tell her that she had won the the entire event, even though she wasn't going to be acknowledged.

I still support the scouts, but they have a ways to achieve perfection. But, then again, don't we all.

Now to chill out and watch some football!

Peace, all!

Nick

dow30 · 02-04-2007, 06:10 PM

Nick,

Congrats to Natalia on her fine performance. I Love it! It sounds like you had a great time helping her with the car, and she has a fine supportive brother, too. All very important. It is very unfortunate that petty egos put a little damper on your victory celebration but it does not take away from this great accomplishment. Unfortunately, it as much as we'd like to think life is fair, it is not. And, she sounds like the type that in a few years, when she's out competing for a job in a man's world, nothing will phase her. She has already shown she can be successful no matter what comes her way. Congrats again to Natalia, and to you and your son for the strong support! Go on with !!!!

NickD · 02-04-2007, 07:12 PM

Thanks!

You know, these are all good troops and good kids. I guess that's why I was bugged. It was SOOOO uncharacteristic and unexpected. In the greater scheme of things, this rebuff is pretty small, to put it mildly. I'm just gonna let it go, and continue to have fun with the privilage accorded to me - raising these two kids.

I did get a kick out of the boy who did run up to her and shyly, but at the same time excitedly tell her that her car had beaten everyone elses. He complimented her design, and they chatted briefly. He seemed a real nice kid. More the norm.

OK, I'll settle down. Games gonna start soon!

Go Bears!

N

bandman · 02-05-2007, 12:03 AM

Nick,

I now coach the girl’s softball teams after taking a boys teams to an American Legion State Championship. The girls get less funding, less respect, and leftovers. A couple years ago my 12-year-old girls challenged the boys team to a softball game. The girls won the game 18-8. When the game was over the boys refused to shake hands and told the girls that if they had played baseball they would have won.

Sometimes you just have to consider the source of comments and actions. As male parents of girls we need to set the example by being supportive of our girls teaching them to win and lose with class and dignity. It sounds like you are a great dad to both your son and daughter. Congrats to you and her on the victory today, and congrats to her brother for supporting his sister.

Tootsall · 02-05-2007, 12:22 AM

I too think that Scouting and Guiding are a great way to build character in kids; I was a Scout and, later, Cub Leader when our older kids were in "the system". I'll admit that I kind of burned out with all the expectations that "the system" places on VOLUNTEER leaders so I stayed away from it with the younger kids.

My youngest son made Queen's Venture level this past year but has since left "the system" to concentrate on his last year of H.S. and, this coming autumn, University. At least I know that if we ever have to sleep outside in -30 weather with no sleeping bags up in the mountains, he can find us a cozy snowbank!

I'll agree that there is still a lot of "mega-anti-female prejudice" to be found in some troops or committees, thankfully not all.

Congrats to your daughter for winning, your son for appreciating her accomplishment, and yourself for caring.

NickD · 02-05-2007, 12:31 AM

Thanks, Bandman, and congrats on your girls team success!!

I did my best to support my daughter and her friends. Her little friend in the girl scouts who came in second in the GSA competition also beat most of the boys! They were a little bummed out, but we parents made a nice fuss with pictures and accolades. We definitely wanted them to enjoy doing well without a sense of wanting to gloat. I think they were just great about that.

PERSONALLY, I was just SEETHING for a while there! I had to really bite my tongue. The local paper covered the event. I'm a hair's bredth of writing a letter to the editor if the girls don't get mentioned for their success. I do want this to end up a positive experience for my daughter and her friends, so I may just walk away from it. It really isn't that big a deal, but it is a matter of principle.

For years, in my other life as a high school physics teacher, it has been a struggle for girls to earn the respect of their male peers in class. Now, most of my best students are girls, even in my AP class. I find this heartening! My wife, an attorrney has had to fight rapant sexisim all her professional life. I'm sure the women who play trumpet are bumping into that all the time. I have a dear friend who is one of Chicago's foremost jazz/lead trombone players. I KNOW she has had to struggle with this nonsense.

The role of women as equals professionally has come a long way, but we still seem to need to work at it. I HAVE HAD TO GROW along these lines. When I first got into the business of being a pro trumpeter, I was not good about this. My fiance (now my wife of almost 27 years) really opened my eyes.

Now, as a dad of a daughter, I have the added component of being extra protective as well., hence my getting a bit worked up over this.

In any case, thanks for the kind and supportive posts!

Now, to go begin mourning --- Da Bears! Alas, it wasn't meant to be. REx looked like a kid and Peyton looked like he was there to play pro ball. The Colts really earned it. Ah but the Bears gave of Chicagoans a thrilling season. It was fun, but I digress...

Peace, all!

Nick

stchasking · 02-05-2007, 12:47 AM

Nick,

I believe that the adult leaders were remiss in teaching the proper response to being beaten by a girl. When the boys invited the girls the leaders should have instigated a character lesson in winning and losing. The adults should have expected the girls to win a few and prepared the boys to show proper respect.

The booing was totally unacceptable and should have been silenced immediately by the adults.

I think a letter to the proper authorities is in order.

James King
Formerly, Troop 158 Arrowhead District of the Hawkeye Area Council

NickD · 02-05-2007, 09:20 AM

James,

I certainly share your feelings, to put it mildly. I don't think I can sit silently about this, but I want to handle this carefully. Girl Scouts are not nearly as active as the BSA when it comes to ranks, merit badges, etc, and we have a small new GSA troop that is taking some very neat proactive and progressive steps. This invite (by the BSA, btw, to they do have that to their credit) inspired the girls, in spite of the rebuff at the end. Yeah, these girls were keenly aware of what was going on (girls do mature faster), but they took it quite well (better than I did, but I'm a dad!).

I just don't want to see the girls shut out. I just think the Cub Scout leaders should have prepared for the possibility that some of the girls might actually win! The fact that they didn't may be symtomaitc.

I wanted to let a couple of days go by, and then I'm going to talk to the Girl Scout Troop leaders and see what they want to do. Believe, these women are not shy and this bugged them, too. I just don't want to go plowing in like a hot-headed parent.

Thanks for the encourgement, James!

Man, it's -10 outside, and I've got to warm my car up before I go to work!

TTFN

ND

Richard Oliver · 02-05-2007, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NickD

it would have been gracious of the cubs to acknowledge her success

Yes it would have indeed.

All the Best,

Richard

stchasking · 02-05-2007, 10:40 PM

Nick,

I'll buy you a beer the next time you are in St. Louis metro. Trailhead Brewery in St. Charles.

02-04-2007, 05:03 PM	#1 (permalink)
NickD Mezzo Forte User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Chicago northern suburbs Posts: 845	Bittersweet success for a dad! Ok, I'm am a supporter of the Boy Scouts and the Girl Scouts. My son is working on his Eagle Scout rank right now and my daughter is an 11 year old girl scout. I love walking the "hood" with when she sells cookies. I realize there has been some controversy surrounding some scout troops attitudes, but in our neck of the woods these organizations are totally cool and a wonderful experience for my kids. I wish I had done it, but my childhood was a bit more tempestuous. Today the boys invited the girls to compete at the Pinewood Derby in Glencoe, where I live. The girls were thrilled to be invited. Well, my daughter and I worked on a car, as expected. She did virtually all of the work, with my guidance and advice (my son had been through this before and I do have a day gig as a high school phsics teacher!). I turned the drill on and off for her and supported it in the vice, but she did all of the work and assembly on the car. She learned about things like potential energy, friction and terminal velocity and Galileo's law of falling boides, etc, in the process. We had fun! Well, today, she not only won the competition within her troop of girl scouts, her car had the fastest average time of ANY car there! SHE BEAT ALL OF THE BOYS!!! Yeah man! Sweet!!! The bitter part was that they not only refused to announce it as part of the orverall events, the refused to announce her time (2.518 seconds) when they announced her as the winner of the girl scout troop. They DELIBERATELY refused to do this. Sure the girls were guests, but it would have been gracious of the cubs to acknowledge her success in spite of her being a guest and a girl. Many of the cubs booed when the girls were announced as winners of the heats. Ok, they're little boys, but the dads should have jumped in there, They didn't! Now, considering the rebuff of not even publicly acknowledging the fact that she actually had the fastest car, I wonder what sort of message they're sending the boys. Ahh, the fragile male egos! Oh well... You can bet I'm gonna tell ALL of my peers at the NTHS Science Department about this. My son, is also going to mention it at his troop meeting. He was pretty bummed when he heard of this. He is such a good kid and loving big brother! I'm pretty lcuky to have these two to my name! Ok, end of rant! I'm pround of my daughter, and I admire the five or so girls who showed and expressed such joy in spite of a lukewarm response from most of the boys. Oh, one final thing; ONE boy, a young boy scout who assisting the officials, came over to Natalia and warmly complimented her on her design and was the first to tell her that she had won the the entire event, even though she wasn't going to be acknowledged. I still support the scouts, but they have a ways to achieve perfection. But, then again, don't we all. Now to chill out and watch some football! Peace, all! Nick __________________ NickD "Live Webcam Lessons Now Available with NickD" http://www.nickdrozdoff.com http://www.newyorktrumpetcompany.com http://www.myspace.com/nickdrozdoff

02-04-2007, 06:10 PM	#2 (permalink)
dow30 Piano User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: NY Posts: 332	Re: Bittersweet success for a dad! Nick, Congrats to Natalia on her fine performance. I Love it! It sounds like you had a great time helping her with the car, and she has a fine supportive brother, too. All very important. It is very unfortunate that petty egos put a little damper on your victory celebration but it does not take away from this great accomplishment. Unfortunately, it as much as we'd like to think life is fair, it is not. And, she sounds like the type that in a few years, when she's out competing for a job in a man's world, nothing will phase her. She has already shown she can be successful no matter what comes her way. Congrats again to Natalia, and to you and your son for the strong support! Go on with !!!! __________________ dow30 Courage doesn't always roar, sometimes it's that little voice at the end of the day that says. "I'll try again tomorrow."

02-04-2007, 07:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
NickD Mezzo Forte User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Chicago northern suburbs Posts: 845	Re: Bittersweet success for a dad! Thanks! You know, these are all good troops and good kids. I guess that's why I was bugged. It was SOOOO uncharacteristic and unexpected. In the greater scheme of things, this rebuff is pretty small, to put it mildly. I'm just gonna let it go, and continue to have fun with the privilage accorded to me - raising these two kids. I did get a kick out of the boy who did run up to her and shyly, but at the same time excitedly tell her that her car had beaten everyone elses. He complimented her design, and they chatted briefly. He seemed a real nice kid. More the norm. OK, I'll settle down. Games gonna start soon! Go Bears! N __________________ NickD "Live Webcam Lessons Now Available with NickD" http://www.nickdrozdoff.com http://www.newyorktrumpetcompany.com http://www.myspace.com/nickdrozdoff

02-05-2007, 12:03 AM	#4 (permalink)
bandman Forte User Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Lafayette, LA, USA Posts: 1,056	Re: Bittersweet success for a dad! Nick, I now coach the girl’s softball teams after taking a boys teams to an American Legion State Championship. The girls get less funding, less respect, and leftovers. A couple years ago my 12-year-old girls challenged the boys team to a softball game. The girls won the game 18-8. When the game was over the boys refused to shake hands and told the girls that if they had played baseball they would have won. Sometimes you just have to consider the source of comments and actions. As male parents of girls we need to set the example by being supportive of our girls teaching them to win and lose with class and dignity. It sounds like you are a great dad to both your son and daughter. Congrats to you and her on the victory today, and congrats to her brother for supporting his sister. __________________

02-05-2007, 12:22 AM	#5 (permalink)
Tootsall Fortissimo User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Yee HAW! Posts: 4,641	Re: Bittersweet success for a dad! I too think that Scouting and Guiding are a great way to build character in kids; I was a Scout and, later, Cub Leader when our older kids were in "the system". I'll admit that I kind of burned out with all the expectations that "the system" places on VOLUNTEER leaders so I stayed away from it with the younger kids. My youngest son made Queen's Venture level this past year but has since left "the system" to concentrate on his last year of H.S. and, this coming autumn, University. At least I know that if we ever have to sleep outside in -30 weather with no sleeping bags up in the mountains, he can find us a cozy snowbank! I'll agree that there is still a lot of "mega-anti-female prejudice" to be found in some troops or committees, thankfully not all. Congrats to your daughter for winning, your son for appreciating her accomplishment, and yourself for caring.

02-05-2007, 12:31 AM	#6 (permalink)
NickD Mezzo Forte User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Chicago northern suburbs Posts: 845	Re: Bittersweet success for a dad! Thanks, Bandman, and congrats on your girls team success!! I did my best to support my daughter and her friends. Her little friend in the girl scouts who came in second in the GSA competition also beat most of the boys! They were a little bummed out, but we parents made a nice fuss with pictures and accolades. We definitely wanted them to enjoy doing well without a sense of wanting to gloat. I think they were just great about that. PERSONALLY, I was just SEETHING for a while there! I had to really bite my tongue. The local paper covered the event. I'm a hair's bredth of writing a letter to the editor if the girls don't get mentioned for their success. I do want this to end up a positive experience for my daughter and her friends, so I may just walk away from it. It really isn't that big a deal, but it is a matter of principle. For years, in my other life as a high school physics teacher, it has been a struggle for girls to earn the respect of their male peers in class. Now, most of my best students are girls, even in my AP class. I find this heartening! My wife, an attorrney has had to fight rapant sexisim all her professional life. I'm sure the women who play trumpet are bumping into that all the time. I have a dear friend who is one of Chicago's foremost jazz/lead trombone players. I KNOW she has had to struggle with this nonsense. The role of women as equals professionally has come a long way, but we still seem to need to work at it. I HAVE HAD TO GROW along these lines. When I first got into the business of being a pro trumpeter, I was not good about this. My fiance (now my wife of almost 27 years) really opened my eyes. Now, as a dad of a daughter, I have the added component of being extra protective as well., hence my getting a bit worked up over this. In any case, thanks for the kind and supportive posts! Now, to go begin mourning --- Da Bears! Alas, it wasn't meant to be. REx looked like a kid and Peyton looked like he was there to play pro ball. The Colts really earned it. Ah but the Bears gave of Chicagoans a thrilling season. It was fun, but I digress... Peace, all! Nick __________________ NickD "Live Webcam Lessons Now Available with NickD" http://www.nickdrozdoff.com http://www.newyorktrumpetcompany.com http://www.myspace.com/nickdrozdoff

02-05-2007, 12:47 AM	#7 (permalink)
stchasking Forte User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,379	Re: Bittersweet success for a dad! Nick, I believe that the adult leaders were remiss in teaching the proper response to being beaten by a girl. When the boys invited the girls the leaders should have instigated a character lesson in winning and losing. The adults should have expected the girls to win a few and prepared the boys to show proper respect. The booing was totally unacceptable and should have been silenced immediately by the adults. I think a letter to the proper authorities is in order. James King Formerly, Troop 158 Arrowhead District of the Hawkeye Area Council __________________ "I was performing professionally at age 17 and have never had a real job." Allen Vizzutti http://cdbaby.com/cd/mcking

02-05-2007, 09:20 AM	#8 (permalink)
NickD Mezzo Forte User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Chicago northern suburbs Posts: 845	Re: Bittersweet success for a dad! James, I certainly share your feelings, to put it mildly. I don't think I can sit silently about this, but I want to handle this carefully. Girl Scouts are not nearly as active as the BSA when it comes to ranks, merit badges, etc, and we have a small new GSA troop that is taking some very neat proactive and progressive steps. This invite (by the BSA, btw, to they do have that to their credit) inspired the girls, in spite of the rebuff at the end. Yeah, these girls were keenly aware of what was going on (girls do mature faster), but they took it quite well (better than I did, but I'm a dad!). I just don't want to see the girls shut out. I just think the Cub Scout leaders should have prepared for the possibility that some of the girls might actually win! The fact that they didn't may be symtomaitc. I wanted to let a couple of days go by, and then I'm going to talk to the Girl Scout Troop leaders and see what they want to do. Believe, these women are not shy and this bugged them, too. I just don't want to go plowing in like a hot-headed parent. Thanks for the encourgement, James! Man, it's -10 outside, and I've got to warm my car up before I go to work! TTFN ND __________________ NickD "Live Webcam Lessons Now Available with NickD" http://www.nickdrozdoff.com http://www.newyorktrumpetcompany.com http://www.myspace.com/nickdrozdoff

02-05-2007, 10:40 PM	#10 (permalink)
stchasking Forte User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,379	Re: Bittersweet success for a dad! Nick, I'll buy you a beer the next time you are in St. Louis metro. Trailhead Brewery in St. Charles. __________________ "I was performing professionally at age 17 and have never had a real job." Allen Vizzutti http://cdbaby.com/cd/mcking

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