SteveRicks

Most trumpet players enjoy a good trumpet joke. Let's see what the group can produce. Be sure and keep it G rated. The're kids out there.

Joke 1
After long hours of practice and many gigs, my wife finally said it was the her or the trumpet. You know, sometimes when I hear great jazz playing on the radio, I sure do miss that lady.

Joke 2
A trumpet player died and went to heaven. St. Peter met him at the pearly gates and proceeded to escort him down a long road with clubs on either side. As they walked past one open door, they heard the greatest lead playing ever. The trumpet player asked, "Who is that?" St. Peter replied, "Oh, that's Gozzo." They went a little farther down the street and heard fantastic Dixieland. The trumpet player asked, "and who is that." St. Peter replied, "Oh, that is just Al Hirt."

The finally reached the end of the street, and from an open doorway came the greatest playing the trumpet player had ever heard. Double C's clear and bright. "The trumpet player asked, "But who is that?" St. Peter looked at him and replied, "Oh, that's just God, but he thinks he's Maynard."

Okay guys and girls, let's see what you've got!

Steve

Vulgano Brother

Bumper Sticker on a well used Pick-up truck: "I still miss my wife but my aim's getting better."

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www.letsbuildhope.org

A.N.A. Mendez

My fav.
Two guys are walking down the street, one is a trumpet player and the other guy doesn't have any money either.

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(Above) Alexanders ragtime band-circa 1960

"Baby, I'm already the coolest, and the hippist, now you want me to be on time too?" Buddy Love

"We appointed all our worst generals to command our armies, and our best generals to edit our newspapers." Robert E. Lee

Solar Bell

Johnny: "Mom, I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up."

Mom: "You can't do both."

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Chuck Willard
The Willard of Oz


"Don't be afraid to see what you see."
Ronald Reagan

The average response time of a 911 call is over 4 minutes.
The average speed of my 9mm is 1250 fps

When seconds count....the police are only minutes away.

ComeBackKid

Two guys walk into a night club and see a combo playing. After watching for awhile, one of them turns to the other and says, "Is that one guy playing a trumpet, a cornet or a flugelhorn?" The other says, "Gee, I dunno...let's ask someone else." So they turn to a guy at the next table and ask him. He replies, "I'm not sure. This is my first time in this club".

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Come-Back Kid
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Selmer Invicta London (T)
Olds SuperStar (T)
Olds Super (2T)
Olds Special (2T+C)
Olds Ambassador (9T+7C)
Andreas Eastman (2T)
Conn Director (T+C)
King Cleveland Superior (T+C)
Holton (T602+C605 Shep Crk)
Holton Collegiate (T+C)
Blessing (T+C)
Yamaha (T+C)
Getzen 300
Amati ATR213
(+Revelle, Bundy, Alcazar, & ?)

Solar Bell

Two trumpet players walk past a bar....................Hey it could happen.

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Chuck Willard
The Willard of Oz


"Don't be afraid to see what you see."
Ronald Reagan

The average response time of a 911 call is over 4 minutes.
The average speed of my 9mm is 1250 fps

When seconds count....the police are only minutes away.

crazyandy88

In an emergency a jazz trumpeter was hired to do some solos with a symphony orchestra. Everything went fine through the first movement, when she had some really hair-raising solos, but in the second movement she started improvising madly when she wasn't supposed to play at all.

After the concert the conductor came round looking for an explanation. She said, "I looked in the score and it said "tacit"--so I took it!"

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Andy Sites

Bachstul

The most popular request people ask of me to play is "The Sound Of Silence".

I'm beginning to wonder if it's the Simon and Garfunkle vesion, or, worse!