mbtpter227

My director insists on using public humiliation as a tool to make me feel inferior.

I play lead in two of her ensembles, plus I am the only trumpet in the pit orchestra which meets each day after school.

Apparently she has some deranged view of the ability of all trumpet players. The way she rehearses us makes me believe that she thinks my endurance is invincible and my range endless. When it inevitably shows it is not, she tells me the remedy is to just "go for it" or proceeds to humiliate me in front of the class.

The way she treats her ensembles (and myself) makes me doubt whether or not I want to pursue music as a career. She makes me doubt my own abilities, and treats me like I will never be good enough. I've never heard her say "good job" or "nice sound."

I can't do this anymore. I truly care about music, and enjoy it, yet I can't have fun in her class.

What do I do? Should I put up with this until I'm out of High School in two years? Do I quit? Do I try to make the best of it? Do I retaliate?

Ugh I needed this vent. I feel myself breaking down.

__________________
-Matt

"Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. They teach you there's a boundary line to music. But, man, there's no boundary line to art."
-Charlie Parker

horn:
'79 Benge 3x
MP:
Schilke 17, Bach 3C

40cal

Just curious, how does this teacher go about humiliating you in front of the class?

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“If there must be trouble, let it be in my day so that my child may have peace.”

Thomas Paine 1737-1809

“That’s all the bullets we had, or we would have shot him more,” Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd

rowuk

MBT,
there are many directors out there that have no idea what we go through. That has always been the case, and always will be!
I would not quit in any case. As long as the ensemble knows you and respects you, it really does not matter what the director says.
You may want to speak with the director outside of the rehearsal to let her know that you are giving 100%. Sometimes they just don't realize that they are not as funny as they think they are.
I play in a wind band and we have a clarinet player as conductor. I consider my playing very advanced but he can waste me in an hour if I am not careful. I let him know when he has not been a good boy and that lasts for about 2 or 3 rehearsals before he conveniently forgets again! Then I have to remind him again. The dialog is professional and not emotional!
It is very possible that the director thinks that you are invincible - because you never gave her the feedback. Try it! It could be the beginning of something better!

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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

cornetguy

As above, if that does not help a visit to administration (counselor or principal) would not be out of line. if none of that helps, there is always the school board. the public humiliation is uncalled for. When correcting individuals, I try to do it off the podium by them even if the rest of class goes to yak-yak land to avoid that.

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Per aspera ad astra

Manny Laureano

So here are the possibilities:

1) She may have a caustic sense of humor and just thinks she's being funny just as a director or directors were with her when she was coming up. It's a technique that I use in rehearsal on a limited basis but I choose my targets carefully. In other words, they're good players that have known me for years and know that I'm only joking. I'd never do that with a newbie.

2) She simply doesn't get it because you make it look easy up to a point and then you give out and she doesn't understand. It's your job to explain it to her if this is the case without making yourself look like a weenie.

3) You might be oversensitive. There's no way for anyone here to judge without sitting next to you in rehearsal. However, I can tell if I've said something to someone and their reaction is not a good one. It's not brain surgery to be able to see if someone is angry or crestfallen. I always ask if we're okay if I sense something's not right.
a) Does she say something mean and then you laugh it off but are secretly hurt?

Do you have to be in the ensembles she conducts for credit? Is it worth it?

Why would your teacher decide to make you feel you're inferior? Is she mentally ill? An adult who chooses a student to mock and belittle for her own aggrandizement is sick. Is that what you're saying when you say she uses "public humilitiation to make [you] feel inferior"?

Understand that I'm not saying you don't have a point. I'm asking you to look at the situation a bit more organically so you can have a better understanding of what may be going on.

ML

stchasking

She needs you to get better because you are her only trumpet player.
I have learned a lot about endurance on this web site. Sift through this web site and learn what you need to do. It sounds like you are a full time student musician. Sit in a practice room or at home and do what the people on this web site have suggested. Practice with a purpose.

Maybe we should load up this thread with links to advice already given? That would get to the point quickly.

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"I was performing professionally at age 17 and have never had a real job." Allen Vizzutti

http://cdbaby.com/cd/mcking

tpter1

I think both Manny and Rowuk have hit some excellent points. Further, if you really love music, stick with it. If you feel it burn in your belly, that you MUST play your horn (not because she is making you; because you are just driven to), then you should (and will) pursue it.

Teachers should not belittle students; however, if they screw up, they should be told. But, if they sound good and are doing the right things, they should know that, too. (We are human though, and sometimes forget that.) If a section or something just is not lining up properly and needs to be gone over it several times, that's how it is. It's not and never is personal. And it should never be.

I suggest you step back and look at it from a distance. Then, if you still see that she is mean-spirited and demeaning, speak to her. But don't let someone like that drive you out. You are in this for you. In 3 years, you'll be on to some other place and some other conductor. Think of all the threads and discussions about frustration with conductors. It happens at the highest levels, as well. You have to learn how to deal with it. In any field; not just music.

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-Glenn
"Roses have thorns; shining waters mud. Clouds and eclipses stain the moon and the sun; and history reeks of the wrongs we have done. After today, after today, consider me gone."- Sting

Vulgano Brother

What a fantastic oportunity you have to practice the biggest Vulgano Voodoo Power Secret of them all! Here it is:

Attitude.

It involves all the attributes of good character, to be sure -- showing up on time, being polite, prepared, etc.; these are but the outward manifistations. Inside, however, when dealing with impossible situations is the attitude of "bring it on, chump!" We see it in top athletes all the time, but it need not take on the flamboyant flash of someone like Muhammed Ali. Deep inside there is the knowledge, concentration and what Bruno Walter called "impulse of will" needed to play the heck out of the trumpet over and over again. We don't play with the chops or air -- to paraphrase Roland of Gilead, "we play with the mind."

Hear in your mind what you want the passage to sound like, and fling it in your conductor's face. If they want it changed, change it and fling it back at 'em. If they want ppppp, fling that at them softly, but with deadly intensity.

It may be just what your teacher is trying to get you to do!

I'm guessing the stuff in the pit isn't for credit. You might think about giving that up. When asked why, you'll have your chance to explain that you're worked to death in the other two rehearsals, and that her attitude makes it no fun in the pit (it's an extracurricular activity, not an extracurricular beat-down that you signed up for).

Give the attitude of playing the dickens out of the trumpet a try -- it might turn out to be a tremendous learning experience for you!

Have fun -- with attitude!

__________________
www.letsbuildhope.org

Jon Kratzer

Do you like reading?

If you do, get your hands on a few things, these are the best trumpet books I've ever read:

Zen in the Art of Archery by Eugen Herrigel
Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey

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Seid bereit, immer bereit.
http://www.jonkratzer.com - down for construction-
http://www.grmouthpieces.com

averagejoe

Well, some great suggestions, but none really address the issue, which is between you and your director. The obvious question here is this:

Have you talked to your teacher about any of this?

I don't know the true nature of the dynamic going on, but your director just might be receptive to hearing your concerns. Request a private meeting with her, and lay it all out respectfully and politely. It is certainly the place I'd start. I would think that your director would want to keep her best player around. You can plan a course of action based on the response you get.

FWIW,

Paul Poovey

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trumpet is so hard because it is so easy