Vulgano Brother

In the Vulgano belief system violists, as a rule, are vile creatures. They do not shave their legs or underarms (except the males) but then shamelessly wear shorts and tank-tops to rehearsals. They complain about the trumpets being too loud. Musically, their only function in the orchestra is to give trumpeters somebody other than musicians to annoy. This leads to a very disturbing dilemma.

• The Hindemith Sonate is one of the finest pieces written for trumpet and piano.
• Hindemith was a violist.

The only reasonable conclusion is that Paul Hindemith did not write the Sonate. If so, who did?

The difficulties in answering this question are enormous – a cover-up of this magnitude is unheard of, involving an international conspiracy. Faced with a total lack of evidence, imaginative speculation is the only tool left in this search for the truth. Fortunately, voodoo musicology works to lead us to the following conclusion:

Aaron Copeland wrote the Hindemith trumpet sonata.

Objective evidence exists in the 1st movement, with the melody based on 4ths and 5ths, a Copeland trademark! Further objective evidence exists in Copeland’s Jewish background – Schott would be hesitant to publish the work by such a composer in the political climate of 1930’s Germany without using a pseudonym! Further evidence is provided by the reluctance to allow the work to be analyzed – could it be that such an analysis would serve to prove Copeland’s authorship, thereby exposing this massive conspiracy?

Subjective evidence is the hallmark of voodoo musicology. Unfortunately in the case of Copeland’s Sonate, the current political climate of America makes declarative statements difficult, calling for great discretion, which is not a Vulgano hallmark. I’m afraid some “reading between the lines” will be called for here.

In the 1st movement, instead of thinking Nazis, think leather -- leather and studs and whips and chains and New York. Think Village People. This gives the direction “mit Kraft” (with power) a whole new twist. (Surprisingly, many trumpeters have intuitively chosen the correct interpretation in playing the 1st movement’s opening theme “lah, lah, laah” with vibrato.)

The 2nd movement represents a picnic in Central Park.

The 3rd movement demonstrates the grief felt at the ending of a relationship.

This interpretation would explain why no American publishers would be willing to risk publishing such a controversial work in the 1930’s.

The closing chorale, “All men must die,” however, may well have been added by Hindemith – this melody, consisting of so many whole and half notes played slowly, is as idiomatic for the viola as it is unidiomatic for the trumpet.

If all this is true, we may safely declare this work to be Gebrauchtmusik (used music).

As stated earlier, Vulgano philosophy believes that as a rule, violists are vile. There are, however, exceptions. Generally they’ll be found serving on the orchestra’s negotiating committee, deeply committed to human rights and friendly to trumpeters. In short: they have a life.

Hindemith could well have been one of these types, in which case the”Hindemith Conspiracy” is pure imagination. You decide.

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Principaltrumpet

I know a fellow TMer who has to write a paper over this piece for a music history class. I think this could be useful...who knows it could lead to an A...lol Russ you choose!
JR

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Joshua C. Ritchie
http://www.joshuacritchie.com

Manny Laureano

Jerry,

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

While, okay, fine... Hindemith didn't actually write the Sonata, the Copland choice is just speculation cleverly disguised as research. By now it's pretty common knowledge that the Sonata was written in the medieval period by a forward thinking English nobleman, The Earl of Sandwich is the man credited with writing Hindemith's sonata for trumpet.

The first movement, "Mit Kraft" is an indication of the earl's preference in spreads for his favorite meal. I'm happy that you at least got the picnic part right in the second movement. The repetitive motif are the annoying ants that spoil the picnic and lead to the tragic quality of the 3rd movement. After being distraught and stomping the ants repeatedly he feels funereal remorse and plays an elegy to the ants. Alle menschen mussen sterben is commonly mis-translated but clearly, it's about everybody munching the missus' storebought sandwiches. I don't know where all that other nonsense got started. It's actually a very happy ending. No need to get all morose about it.

ML

Pedal C

The time has come to set the record straight. This is information I’ve carried for too long…

It is a little known fact that Paul Hindemith had a devious twin brother, Raul. Late at night, and unbeknownst to his family, young Raul would sneak off into the forest and partake in many dark arts. Witchcraft, fortune telling, cat juggling and yes, even viola playing.

When Raul's deviance became known, he was disowned by the Hindemith family and left home to join a curious band of gypsies who had (strangely) dedicated themselves to total obscurity. Their idols included vice presidents, middle relievers, ushers, backup dancers and professional bowlers. Obviously, Raul’s “musical” leanings were in harmony with these vagabonds, and he quickly rose to the center of the movement. Under his leadership, Raul and his compatriots achieved many, many meaningless goals (observing the first four minute mile, painting a picture of the Mona Lisa, commissioning the Eiffel Sidewalk, etc), but a history of this movement (they had no name) would fill an encyclopedia, even though it dosen't deserve to.

Returning to Paul, he was a struggling composer trying to make ends meet, working at a local eating establishment as a bratenfraugenmittenschtuffenplier (literally – bratwurst guy). This was not as glamorous or lucrative as it sounds. Paul desperately wanted to devote himself to composing full time, but he could only write whole notes and half notes as he could not afford enough ink to fill in the note heads. It was during this period that Paul began work on what would later become the ending of the Trumpet Sonata.

As fate would have it, Raul had been ejected from his clan as he had taken to skipping meetings. Even though obscurity was praised, not showing up was a terrible offence! Alone and broken, he sought out his brother.

The brothers reconciled and hatched a plan. Raul (posing as Paul) would play viola in various local orchestras, providing the duo with money and satisfying Raul’s innate desire to be completely anonymous. Paul was ecstatic! Not only could he afford to compose as he wished (oh, how he had longed for sixteenth notes!), he could now eat something other than bratwurst for lunch.

This arrangement was wildly successful. Raul left Germany with Paul and followed him for the rest of his life, paying the bills by playing the viola. Eventually Paul was successful enough as a composer, teacher and conductor that he no longer needed the extra viola-induced income, so Raul happily left his brother and wandered off (with a healthy stipend from Paul) to parts unknown, basking in anonymity for the rest of his days.

Paul and Raul took great care to keep this deception to themselves, and this vital information has been passed down to me in a manner so secret, I cannot describe it here. Now that the impossibility of a violist composing such a wonderful piece for trumpet has been brought to light, the truth may finally be known!

Jason.

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"The oboe's A is to make sure we still play it 1 and 2" - Bud Herseth

"One way or another, every patient stops bleeding." - Scrubs

Richard Oliver

All Vulgani must delve.

Tinfoil Hat Time is Now,

Richard

trumpet blower88

I don't know what you guys are talking about, I wrote the sonate!

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-David Jacques

Manny Laureano

Actually, I believe this was one of the other things Khalid Sheikh Muhammed confessed to (that's the terrorist that looks like John Belushi), writing the Sonata wrongly attributed to Hindemith.

ML

tpter1

Actually, I think all evidence points to the fact that it was written by an elephant. The only creature capable of producing so many notes at the same time on the piano; the volume needed to trumpet the opening and power the piano part. It all makes sense. An elephant.

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-Glenn
"Roses have thorns; shining waters mud. Clouds and eclipses stain the moon and the sun; and history reeks of the wrongs we have done. After today, after today, consider me gone."- Sting

40cal

I don't know where you all get your info but here is the real truth.

The sonata in question was written by Elvis, that's right, the one and only.

Elvis was taken by aliens and sent through a tear of the time-space continuum. Elvis wrote that piece in honor of NASA faking the moon landing at a set somewhere near the south pole.

Y'all got nuthin on the King.

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“If there must be trouble, let it be in my day so that my child may have peace.”

Thomas Paine 1737-1809

“That’s all the bullets we had, or we would have shot him more,” Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd

ecarroll

Richard,

Love the "aura"

Best,
(EC)