tpter1

I had a student playing the ride book in our county festival this past weekend. She's a good player; very musical, solid articulation, nice sound. One of the charts they did was an arrangement of I Remember Clifford, and she did it on flugel. It was beautiful, so I gave her a hug in the hall afterewards and told her I was proud of her, nt thiking I was really doing anything big at all.

Her father saw me at parent confrences last night, and said she was so moved by that that she could barely say anything. It made me stop and think for a minute: as a band teacher, when was the last time I told any of my students I was proud of them? That I thought they were doing really well? We get caught up in saying what needs to be fixed, how improvements could be made, yes you did a good job on your F# scale, Sally, day-to-day things that...well...when was the last time we actually honestly and truly recognized that a student really has something? That extra step is so important in their lives. I'm not saying we should constantly glower all over them or give them false ego, but that once-in-a-while reassurance that yes, they are doing things that are truly positive and that we do respect and admire their accomplishments means a whole lot to them.

Eclipsehornplayer

Good for you Glenn.

I believe that small gesture on your part is what sets you apart from other band directors/teachers.

It's easy to pick apart a performance and point out what's wrong; I'll bet that the student recognizes it in some cases before the teacher does.

I would have killed to have my band director tell me he was proud of me. He was a seemingly hard; ice cold man. Didn't matter what solos I played I could execute them flawlessly and all I'd ever get was a simple nod of the head.

What you did the student will take with her through life.

And I agree it's every bit as important to build self esteem as it is to stress technique, dynamics, etc....

Way to go!

silverstar

I agree whole heartedly about that.

All through high school (especially after the show choir/honor band fiasco my junior year) I was convinced that I'd never be good enough for my band directors. I thought they truly didn't like me for some reason, and I was extremely intimidated by them.

Well, after I graduated, I got a card in the mail from my jazz band director...congratulating me and telling me not to give up music. It meant so much to me to get that letter...I wrote him one back thanking him and letting him know that I was really touched by it.

It's the little things that can sometimes really make someone's day.

Lara

Tootsall

And you didn't get sued for unwanted touching!? Amazing... where were all the lawyers at the moment?

OK, so it's only partially toungue-in-cheek.... but I think you get the point... this is where our society is slowly developing a disconnect between youth and adults... all these stupid lawsuits and "political correctness" and crap like that which is removing the personality from every day life.

On the other hand (and much more importantly)... GOOD FOR YOU! Our kids' band teacher behaves similarly... and the kids respond in a like fashion. I've seen someone (usually one of the larger lads) from her band pick her up in a huge hug every year during the annual commencement and awards ceremonies. They really appreciate all that she does for them including the "donkey-work" organizing the band's activities and annual trip.

40cal

Glenn, I would have been proud to call you a teacher. I think a lot of adults lose sight of what is important regardless of the occupation, that is the kids for our future.

You as a teacher can and will have a major impact on someone's life. It is up to you to decide whether that impact is good or bad, and it is pretty clear to me what choice you made.

If you are ever in MN 1st round is on me. (I hope you drink pop, because that's all I drink)

Now one of my history teachers in high school......

Bear

Yeah, good point... Maybe some of my past teachers ought to read this... I never received a "Good job Tim, that was really well done." Nope, not I. Instead I get, "Yeah, so next time try to give me more dynamics and....". Posisitive reinforcement does work wonders. I always try to make it a point to give some positive feedback when I'm teaching someone.

tpter1

Thanks...all I meant was to remind other teachers that it is important that we show our students some reassurance of our belief.

40-that's all I drink, too. (Well, that and some coffee...which, BTW, bar waitresses really hate...).

Toots, I sort of smiled at your response...I normally do not hug kids for that reason. I remember reading an article in an Instrumentalist magazine once about a teacher who lost his job for keeping time on a student's leg with a pencil....what a world, eh?

Thermos

Isn't the feeling that you've really affected the life of someone in such a positive way great?

It is good to be on the receiving end as well- even if its not a teacher. When you're peers turn to you after you nail a difficult spot and tell you what a great job you did, especially if you were apprehensive about the (whatever it is), it can really just help you feel great.

What can be frustrating is when is when someone compliments you and you think you really screwed it up- makes you wonder if they're just saying it or if they really mean it.

If all band directors did that kind of positive reinforcement, I bet there would be a lot more professional musicians.

But students- return the favor! When your director (or instructor) goes out of his way or does something special, thank them! I always make a point to thank my favorite teachers- band or otherwise- for such a great year when it is one, or when they do something for me.

trumpetmike

Yes, yes, yes

There is nothing quite like the feeling of having one of your students do really well, but that moment when they (or their parents, frequently) say "thanks" is as close as it can get.

If a student does well, the teacher should say so.
If the teacher does a great job, the student should say so.
That way everyone can be rewarded

trumpettrax

I think this is important in all walks of life, not just for students. PEOPLE in general like warm fuzzies! :) How many of you would LIKE it if you perform for an audience and they just nod their head and say nothing. I personally enjoy hearing that I'm appreciated and others enjoyed hearing me play. I'm 40 years old and my teacher mentioned I was doing a great job. Man, did help help me in my confidence.

The point is, it helps everyone, not just students and not just kids. Everyone likes to be appreciated.

My pastor (after just about every service) asks everyone "did you like that" "did you get something out of that" all to get that need met. I'm sure he would tell you he doesn't have a need, but he does, everyone does.

Good post,

Trax