bandman

I just have to vent at myself…confession is good… it’s just a game.

My daughter played a softball game tonight. In the second inning she made an error that cost her team 2 runs. The next inning she struck out looking at 3 pitches with 2 outs and a runner on 3rd base. In the last inning she struck out, 2 of the strikes were called.

When the game was over I was so upset that the steam was coming out of my ears. I didn’t say anything at all for about 20-minutes because I feared what might come out of my mouth. I’m so stupid that I didn’t need to say it – I said everything on my mind with my eyes.

We got home from the park; she looked at me and said, “I’m sorry.” I just looked at her and said, “Sorry for what?” My God I was a jerk.

She changed and then came and sat by me as we watched a TV show, sharing a big piece of watermelon. Not too many words were spoken between us for a while until the watermelon was gone. I looked at her and just said, “I’m sorry”, to which she responded, “I love you!”

It was just a game. She is normally one of the most fundamentally sound players on the team. It was the first time all season she struck out, and the first error she has made in 2 seasons. Her team lost by 6-runs to a team they should have beat by 15-runs. It was just one of those nights.

So learn from me – it’s just a game! There are so many things that are so much more important than a win or a loss. She just went to bed and she came and hugged me, and said she can’t wait until tomorrow and the weekend. Jack Hanna is coming to visit at school, and we’re taking a long weekend to visit some friends in Austin, Texas.

It’s amazing – a lesson was learned tonight. It’s a shame it was the 11-year-old who was teaching the 48-year-old. I’m a lucky guy. My daughter is a great teacher!

Manny Laureano

Oh, man, Bandman... wanna tell me about it?

Max has been in baseball since he was a wee one and I'd love to take back certain days in both our lives. You watch them play and there's a flow about their play and when something interrupts that flow it's not unusual to react a certain way. Sometimes it's negative and the words are out of your mouth before you can stuff them back in. The good thing is the great majority of what we say is overwhelmingly positive.

Then there are the days we just ache for them. What can we do? If we pretend nothing happened that mattered to them we lose credibilty. If we agree with them when they say they stink we're not helping them deal with perspective. Man, what a balancing act.

Here's what happened today: he was asked to pitch, as a junior varsity player, for the Varsity team! Guess who had to tell the coach and remind Max that he has a dress rehearsal on Saturday and can't take advantage of the ONE time this season he can strut his stuff for the Varsity team.?

Yup... dear ol' dad.

I could see how angry he was as he threw his stuff into the equipment bag. His coach was disappointed, too. But what could I do? His first commitment is to the orchestra as their schedule is printed first and not subject to last minute invitations.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's not just a game. There's so much that learn about dealing with life through athletics, music... you name it. We just happen to be two musicians talking about kids in athletics. My son learned a first lesson in commitment. Your daughter learned several things: that when her performance changes suddenly, people will notice. She also knows what she's always known and that's how much her papa loves her, no matter what.

What a ride this all is... we live for the easy days and hold our breath on the tough days. G-d help us try not to mess up too much.

Funny... one dad in Minneapolis and another in Louisiana and all the others in between sharing the same joys and concerns. Hang in there, Dave and I will, too.

ML