Eclipsehornplayer

Hello everyone:

I apologize for this long winded rambling but felt the need to put it out here to clear up a few things.

I have been away from the board for a couple of weeks except for some postings in the Forte Club regarding what I’m about to tell you here. I’m putting this here because surprisingly I got a lot of PM’s from TM members just checking to see if I was all right because I hadn’t posted lately.

First let me say that I’m flattered and that it just solidifies for me what a great place TM is that so many strangers care for each other.

On January 29, 2007 I received a phone call that no child ever wants to receive; especially when they are 840 miles from their parents. I was told by my mother that they (her and my sisters) were following the ambulance carrying my father to the hospital and that he had slipped and fell and was unconscious.

My mom told me she’d call me back when she knew more. I got that call at 2:15PM on that Monday. My mom called back around 5:00PM and told me what they knew so far. She told me that he had slipped and fell on some Ice in the driveway. My parents reside in Michigan just outside the Metro Detroit area so this is a very common occurrence this time of year. I myself having played hockey for 26 years of my life had slipped and fallen sometimes with help; many times.

He came down flat on his back. The back of his head hit first followed in succession by his neck, shoulders, mid back etc… The early medical reports showed that my dad had a small bleed in his brain; but the most damning injury was to his spinal cord at the C-2 level. This is the level that caused Christopher Reeves to be the way he was.

Apparently my father had a congenital condition in which the spinal canal was too narrow for the spinal cord and only an event like this could have brought it to light. When his head hit the ground it jarred his spinal cord which hit the side of the spinal canal and then bruised and started to swell. As a result my father nearly died; as he was having trouble breathing for himself and was paralyzed from the neck down. All from a slip and fall on ice!

All I could think about was that I had to get up there and quick. I left for band rehearsal and broke the news there that I’d be out for awhile. My mother depends upon my father and can do next to nothing for herself. My sisters; I’m sad to say are useless. So it falls upon me to fly in there and mop this up as best I can and prepare my family for what I know is coming. See I was in a very bad car wreck in 2001 and I had a very bad spinal cord injury so I know all to well what my father is going through. The big difference is that mine happened when I was 31 not 61.


I flew up there the next day and immediately plunged myself into what was going on and how we were going to hopefully get it fixed. My mom cried on my shoulder for a couple of hours; I’ll never forget that lost look in her eyes. The hardest thing for me was keeping a tough, rock solid persona; I just wanted to cry along side them.

My dad had surgery February 7, 2007 to try and relieve the pressure on his spinal cord and to give him/us hope that he’d heal and return to a reasonable likeness of the man we’d all come to know and love. After the surgery we anxiously awaited him coming around so we could see what we hoped and prayed for; my dad moving again; like he used to. God did give us a little hope; but not as much as I would have liked. My father was able to move his arms a good bit; but had no movement in his wrists or fingers and no movement below his waist. His feeling did return all over his body albeit not the feeling he normally had throughout his life. See only someone with a spinal cord injury understands what that means. To this day my knuckles get so hyper-sensitive that if the wind is blowing too hard it feels as though I’ve stuck the back of my hand in molten steel. This burning is common among anyone who suffers a spinal cord injury. So my dad was now in great pain over most of his body.

After surgery my dad developed a slew of problems ranging from Pneumonia to extremely low blood pressure to many other vital things. My dad’s injury is in a part of the spinal cord which is critical to getting the messages from the brain to the rest of the body like; heart it’s time to beat again and so on! Because of this damage he was having trouble sustaining his own life without help from machines.

I had to leave to come back down to Georgia where my wife and I reside as I had used up my paid vacation for 2007 during the 2 weeks I was back home with my family. Sure I could have stayed longer using FMLA but that’s unpaid and I can’t afford that. So I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I left my helpless crippled father and came back down here. I still pray that God will grant us a miracle and give my father back what he has lost but deep down I’m sure my father will not walk again. The look on my dad’s neurosurgeons face following the surgery was all I needed to see to know that the odd’s are heavily against my father. Don’t get me wrong I’m an optimist and I believe; so I continue to pray; but facts will need to be faced sooner or later and the facts right now are not pointing at a favorable outcome for my dad.

So that’s what I’ve been up to. For all those who PM’d me I’m deeply touched that you cared enough to enquire about me. TM is a special place for me and to know that my TM peers actually missed me says something about what a special group of people exist here. Pros and amatuers a-like I've never seen anything like TM anywhere! Selfishly I’d like to ask you all to keep my father in your thoughts and prayers. He will need them!

I can’t help but think of better times; my father and I are quite close. I remember the look of absolute delight on his face when he attended the midnight mass that I performed in as a 2nd trumpet player in the church orchestra back in December. I posted those videos in the Orchestra forum. My father thinks that I’m a really great player; thank goodness he’s never heard one or he’d know that I’m nothing more then just another trumpeter. I will never forget the look on his face as he rose from the pews and applauded after the mass was over. How I pray one day soon I’ll see him rise to his feet again. This time I’ll be applauding him for deep down my father is my hero; I'm embarassed that it took this to get me to see that.

God Bless everyone of you,
John

Derek Reaban

John,

Thanks for sharing what's been going on in your life. I will certainly keep your Father as well as you and your family in my prayers.

Take care,

Vulgano Brother

Ditto.

DL TPT

John,

As others have expressed their concern for your family, so do I. Your family is in my prayers - and yes I still believe in miracles.

DL

RG111

John,
You and you family are in my prayers. Like DL, I also believe in miracles.
God bless,
Roy

mbtpter227

John,

I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

I believe in miracles!

mattdalton

Ditto from me too.

Richard Oliver

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil: my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Prayers for all John,

Richard Oliver

silverstar

John,

I'm praying for you and your family! I hope that things turn out ok. If you need anything, let us know. I'm sure we'd all be able to help somehow!

*hugs and prayers*

Lara

bandman

John,

I read your post twice last night and did not know how to reply. I'm having a hard time with the fact that many of my friends and students families seem to be going though rough times. My prayers are with you and your family, but I wish that there were words that could comfort you -- some magical words of wisdom.

I don't have those words. Just know that there are folks here that care about you. Maybe that is the most important comfort of them all.

Dave