Martin Williams

Bud Light presents, real American Heroes,

Today we salute you, Mr. Buckeye Student. You, adorned in your buckeyes, teach us that there is no limit to the things you can do with nuts. Sure, your drunken shenanigans have been in every newspaper and magazine in the country, but you know that you were doing that on purpose. Where others attend college solely for a good education, you preach of true higher education. With a major at OSU, an automatic minor in leisure activities and drunkology. You preach of a world where it's okay for someone to get drunk at 7a.m. and pee in public. You ask "Why can't we have bars in the library, and have beer pong as a varsity sport?" So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Buckeye Student, because we all know that there are only a few people who know what 20 degree water feels like in November.

and also,

Today we salute you, Mr. Delusional Michigan Fan. Season after season, year after year, you try to justify your absurdly high preseason ranking. Season after season, year after year, you scramble to make futile attempts at damage control when the Wolverines lose to a grossly inferior opponent. Inevitably, you'll bring up the past, and boast of National Championships won 40 years before you were born. You will point out that you have more wins than any other program as though that is relevant to the current season. Go on, ignore that home loss to your arch rivals in the regular season finale and continue to believe that you'll defeat your bowl opponent with striking ease. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Emperor of Excuses, and take comfort knowing that when you don't finish in the top 25, you'll be back to number three when the preseason polls come out next year

Sorry its just a great rivalry. btw chuck... how many times has Tressel beaten you now? hmmm...

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