Ozzieworld

Tootsall · 03-30-2004, 07:14 PM

FOUND IN A "PERSONAL PROBLEMS" ADVICE COLUMN OF AN
AUSTRALIAN MAGAZINE

I am a sailor in the Australian Navy. My parents live in the suburb of
Redfern and one of my sisters, who lives in Canberra, is married to a Kiwi.

My father and mother have recently been arrested growing and selling
marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Kings Cross.

I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Long Bay Jail, Sydney, for the rape and murder of a teenage girl in 1994, the other is being held in the Parramatta remand center on charges of incest with three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Chatswood and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD.

We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancée utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager.

I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into
the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.

Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a Kiwi?

lonelyangel · 03-30-2004, 08:02 PM

Hey Ed, the way I first heard that one, the brother-in-law was a musician!

All the best. Noel.

trpguyy · 03-30-2004, 09:38 PM

Maybe it's one of those King's English slang things.....but as far as I'm concerned, "kiwi" is a type of fruit. What does it mean in the context of this joke?

kdawg · 03-30-2004, 11:43 PM

the kiwi is also a small bird.

1 : any of a small genus (Apteryx) of flightless New Zealand birds with rudimentary wings, stout legs, a long bill, and grayish brown hairlike plumage
2 capitalized : a native or resident of New Zealand -- used as a nickname
(http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?va=kiwi)

03-30-2004, 07:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tootsall Fortissimo User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Yee HAW! Posts: 4,641	Ozzieworld FOUND IN A "PERSONAL PROBLEMS" ADVICE COLUMN OF AN AUSTRALIAN MAGAZINE I am a sailor in the Australian Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Redfern and one of my sisters, who lives in Canberra, is married to a Kiwi. My father and mother have recently been arrested growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Kings Cross. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Long Bay Jail, Sydney, for the rape and murder of a teenage girl in 1994, the other is being held in the Parramatta remand center on charges of incest with three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Chatswood and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancée utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would at least get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin. My problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a Kiwi?

03-30-2004, 08:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
lonelyangel Pianissimo User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: London Brand: eclipse Posts: 196	Hey Ed, the way I first heard that one, the brother-in-law was a musician! All the best. Noel.
	__________________ Noel Langley - Eclipse Artist noel@eclipsetrumpets.com Eclipse Medium Yellow, scratch gold Eclipse Medium Heavy Red, custom 'Diamond Back' in 24ct gold Eclipse Red Brass Flugel Custom Scherzer piccolo with copper Wedgewood bell, finished in scratch gold Giardinelli 6S, 6M, 6FL Bach 3CW

03-30-2004, 11:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
kdawg New Friend Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 43	the kiwi is also a small bird. 1 : any of a small genus (Apteryx) of flightless New Zealand birds with rudimentary wings, stout legs, a long bill, and grayish brown hairlike plumage 2 capitalized : a native or resident of New Zealand -- used as a nickname (http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?va=kiwi)
kdawg New Friend Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 43

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03-30-2004, 09:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
trpguyy Piano User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Syracuse, NY Posts: 288	Maybe it's one of those King's English slang things.....but as far as I'm concerned, "kiwi" is a type of fruit. What does it mean in the context of this joke?

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