Manny Laureano

If you weren't around in the 70's you missed one of the funniest shows on American TV. It was called Hollywood Squares. Itv was a game show where contestants played a game of tic-tac-toe to win money and prizes. Each square was occupied by a celebrity whose job it was to answer a question posed by the host, Peter Marshall. When the celebrity you chose answered the question it was then the job of the contestant to agree or disagree with the answer. Each correct guess would award you the square.

The celebrities were suppplied with the questions beforehand so they could decide how they wanted to answer. Much of the humor had to do with the delivery and the most popular celebrity was comedian/actor Paul Lynde but there were many, many others over the years.

Here are some of the responses:


Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

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Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

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Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

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Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

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Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

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Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

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Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

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Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

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Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll

never forget.

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Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily

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Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

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Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

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Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

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Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

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Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

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Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

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Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

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Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

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Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean?

A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

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Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

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Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

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Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

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Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

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Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet


ML

Solar Bell

That was great Manny.

I aslo remember Totie Fields on that show.

And Judy Carne from Laugh -In, my one of MY favorite shows.

And don't forget FLIP WILSON!!! "Say mama..."

And DON RICKLES!! "You hockey puck!"

-cw-

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Chuck Willard
The Willard of Oz

"Don't be afraid to see what you see."
Ronald Reagan

Alex Yates

Paul Lynde - St. BellyLaugh to me.....they don't make 'em like him very often. I watched Bewitched just to catch glimpses of him as Uncle Arthur.
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Well crud...I thought you said we would laugh our tushies off? I was hoping to lose a little back there, but nothing seems to have changed. (but I did laugh a lot)

W Scott

Gotta love Paul Linde. Half of the fun was watching his expressions and listening to the way he said his replies.

Boy, we are all dating ourselves...

Laugh In--
Saturday night live--

Sandford and Son--

Bill Cosby and Flip Wilson

Great shows, great times...

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Gabriel is NOT a woodwind player!