Solar Bell

This was brought to my attention:

Hormones??

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when
all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into
his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license
in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.


11 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pack my stuff

And my favorite one...

11. Potential Murder Suspect



Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might
need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember:

Money talks...but chocolate sings.



And another thing...

I was not happy with my wifes mood swings, so I bought her a mood ring so I would be able to monitor her moods. When she'sin a good mood, it turns green.

When she's in a bad mood, it leaves a big red
mark on my forehead.

Wait a minute You've got it backwards. Being able to play Jazz is your
reward. There is no other pay-off.
"John Lewis"