Alex Yates

Australian bricklayer report
>
>
>
> Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's
> accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian
> equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story.
> Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......
>
> Dear Sir,
>
> I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
> Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause
> of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
> following details will be sufficient.
>
> I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
> alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I
> found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found
> to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by
> hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was
> attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope
> at> ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the
> bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to
> ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
>
> You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh
> 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
> lost
> my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
> proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of
> the
> third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an
> equally impressive speed.
>
> This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar
> bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
>
> Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
> the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.!
>
> Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to
>
> hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At
> approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground
> and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the
> bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.
>
> I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid
> descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor,
> I met the barrel coming
> up.
>
> This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
> lacerations
> of my legs and lower body.
>
> Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
> seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of
> bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
>
> I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
> pain, unable to
> move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope
> and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto
> me.
>
> This explains the two broken legs.
>
> I hope this answers your inquiry.

gregc

Thanks! You have NO idea how timely that is with what's been happening at my work place.
I owe ya,
gregc

__________________
______________
Greg Condemi

Tootsall

Two men at the watercooler on Monday morning; one sporting two black eyes.

"Say, where did you get those two shiners?"

"Well, on Sunday morning I went to church. When we stood to sing a hymn I noticed that the lady in the pew in front of me had her dress caught between her butt cheeks so I reached out and tugged it out..... she turned around and slugged me!".

"Wow, I'll bet that hurt... but what about the second black eye?"

"On Sunday evening I went to the service again and the same lady was in front of me. When we stood up to sing a hymn her dress was caught up again. The guy next to me noticed it and reached out and tugged it out."

"But how did YOU get the black eye?"

"I already knew she didn't like that so I reached out and poked it back in; that's when she hit me the second time!"

dizforprez

Alex, the whole thing was on mythbusters this weekend!

jcmacman

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/bricks.asp

john

Tootsall

Guys, don't be so serious: that joke is as old as the hills. I highly doubt that anyone thinks it is true least of all Alex; (except possibly someone from Workman's Compensation).

It's still funny to read; I think I'll copy/save it because I keep forgetting the precise sequence of steps.

jcmacman

Hey Tootsall, I'm not serious.
Just thought someone would like to know the origin.
Funny story though.
john

Alex Yates

Yes, it is a funny myth. I just post jokes (if they are good) and if I don't think they have been posted here yet. It is a jaw-dropper to read though, ain't it?

Tootsall

Yep...the joke must have been told by an Englishman. The last time I heard it it was a Scot telling the joke and it was an English bricklayer! Still darn funny...worthy of Monty Python.