Mikey

Pickle slicer

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number
of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a
terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his thing into the pickle
slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk
about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to
overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could
see at once that something was seriously wrong.

"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my
thing into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh...she got fired too."






Pick-up lines heard round the world and what you could say
back to them...

I know how to please a woman.
Then please leave me alone.

I want to give myself to you.
Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Your hair color is fabulous.
Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.

I can tell that you want me.
Yes, I want you to leave.

Hey, baby, what's your sign?
"Do Not Enter" or "Stop".

I'd go through anything for you.
Let's start with your bank account.

I would go to the end of the world for you.
Yes, but would you stay there?

Your place or mine?
Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine.

Your body is like a temple.
Sorry, there are no services today.

Is this seat empty?
Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
If I could see you naked, I'd die laughing.

Solar Bell

Where have you been hiding all my life?

If I tell you I'll have to find another spot.

-cw-

__________________
Chuck Willard
The Willard of Oz

"Don't be afraid to see what you see."
Ronald Reagan

Solar Bell

Not long after that, Bill got a new job.

After he was there a while he was upset because the boss took an hour for lunch, and he only got half an hour.

he complained to his co workers and vowed to take an hour the next day.

He left work and went home.

When he got to his house, he went in and heard noise in his bedroom.

When he peeked in, he saw his boss in bed with his wife.

He quietly left.

The next day his co worker asked "are you taking an hour again today?"

Bill replyed "Heck no! I almost got caught yesterday!"

-cw-

__________________
Chuck Willard
The Willard of Oz

"Don't be afraid to see what you see."
Ronald Reagan

Dave Mickley

HEY - I heard those things alot when I was single, did you talk to a bunch of ladies in Indy?? Dave

__________________
formerly known as old geezer Dave
C7
Yam. 231 Fl. 15383
King Master Cornet 295628
Weril Cornet Lo 7535