Liad Bar-EL

Today, when something bothers you, ask yourself: "On a scale of one to 100 (with 100 applying to nuclear war), what number would I give this situation?"

Learn to have a sense of proportion to events. If you fail to do so, you might react with equal levels of distress to someone's spilling soup on your clothes as you would to news of the outbreak of global nuclear warfare.

You'll find with this perspective that many potential mountains will easily shrink to molecules.

Liad Bar-EL

Write The Story Of Your Life

View each day as a page in your autobiography.

You have the ability to fill each page with beautiful stories of spiritual growth and kind deeds. Past pages are already written, but you can revise their significance by learning from your mistakes. In a panoramic view of your life, those mistakes become stepping stones for growth.

Future pages are not yet ready to be written. Only the present pages are before you. You have the opportunity to be the author of a masterpiece which describes the life of a great person: you.

Liad Bar-EL

The Two Skills of Happiness

Happiness is a skill that can be learned. To acquire this skill, it is necessary to master two basic skills:

1) The ability to focus on happiness-producing thoughts, as opposed to those which cause unhappiness.

2) The ability to evaluate events and situations as positive instead of negative. (Or at least to lower the degree of negativity - i.e. rather than considering some discomfort as a tragedy, evaluating it as minor.)

Liad Bar-EL

Make the Most of Your Here And Now

Some people accomplish a great deal, yet they are unhappy because they keep thinking that "somewhere else" they might be able to accomplish more. They live their lives with the general feeling that whatever they are engaged in at the moment is nothing compared to what they might possibly do.

This feeling is a poison that destroys joy and happiness in life. While you should try to accomplish as much as you can, it is often an illusion that you are missing out by not being "somewhere else."

Liad Bar-EL

Help Others Help Themselves

Maimonides says that the highest level of giving charity is helping a person become self-sufficient.

Today, think of someone who needs a job and try to do what you can to help him earn money. You might help him get a job interview or you might think of some marketable skill that you could help him develop.

Liad Bar-EL

Renew Your Appreciation

Make it a daily practice to view the world as if you were created today. Mentally picture yourself coming into the world for the first time, and observe everything with a freshness. This exercise can transform the mundane into a thrilling experience.

Liad Bar-EL

Focus On The Roses

"A person who gathers honey will not escape being stung by bees. A person who gathers roses will not escape being scratched by thorns."

The positive things in life also have negative aspects. Keep your focus on the beautiful roses of the world, and the thorns will seem trivial and inconsequential.

Liad Bar-EL

Don't Let Others Control Your Happiness

"A truly happy person does not allow his happiness to be dependent on any external factor over which he may not have control." (Chochmah Umussar, vol.2, pp.331-2)

Base your happiness on your own attitudes, and you can be its master. If you tell yourself that you can only be happy if others do or say what you wish, your happiness is under the control of those people. You can never have a guarantee how others will behave. Even when they do behave as you wish, you are likely to feel uneasy about how they might behave in the future.

Liad Bar-EL

How to stop getting insults from an insulter

Trying to stop someone from insulting you, by insulting him back, is like trying to put out a fire by throwing oil on it.

If you insult someone who insults you, he will continue insulting you, even more vigilantly and viciously. If, however, you remain silent to an insult, the person will have said what he wanted and will stop.

Liad Bar-EL

You trumpet players should be expert at this and might even become more grateful with your breathing as you play your horn.

Rabbi Pliskin stated the following: Take A Breather

As you read this paragraph, you will be breathing. Be aware of your next breath. Every time you breathe, you can either breathe subconsciously or you can choose to breathe mindfully. And then you can choose to be grateful for each breath, which is what the Midrash suggests that we do. Since you breathe regularly throughout the day, the practice of being grateful for each breath will fill your day with gratitude.

There are courses on art appreciation and music appreciation. Breathing appreciation will enhance your life even further. Spend five minutes counting your breaths. This will increase your awareness of how often you breathe and will slow down your breathing.

When you breathe slowly and deeply, your nervous system relaxes and becomes calmer. Slow, deep breathing alleviates anger, tension, fears, and stress. These states are not conducive to clear thinking or happiness. As you breathe slowly and deeply your mind clears and you will be able to gain a broader perspective that is helpful in dealing with those underlying issues that have caused the distressful feelings in the first place. When you add gratitude, the process becomes much more effective.

I am often asked, "What is the one spiritual exercise that would help me connect with the Creator?"

"Breathing," I suggest.

"Breathing?" is often the incredulous reply.

"Yes, breathing! When you make breathing a spiritual experience, you gain a greater awareness of the Almighty's love and kindness. You appreciate that He gave you a need for oxygen so you would be constantly reminded that He is giving you what you need to stay alive.

We are all addicted to oxygen. Try to hold your breath for thirty seconds and the only thing you will be thinking of is, "I need my oxygen fix right away." This is a healthy addiction, and no one suggests that we give it up. So since you are breathing anyway, upgrade its quality. Be grateful for each breath. Begin right now with your next ten breaths.